As a writer, we use emotions to write what we know. I have talked about that before. Many experiences we might not have had firsthand, but we know human emotions, and through those, we can make people connect. Today is an odd day for me, and I find it hard to define exactly how I feel.
I have been a Barry Manilow fan since I was nine years old. Truly. Thanks to Dad who joined the fan club we were finally able to go see him live in 1982. I can remember it all so well. January 12th, a box at the Royal Albert Hall. I remember thinking how wonderful he sounded and how I was feeling something I had never felt before. That magic, that connection through the music. Well, that was me hooked. From the get-go, I wanted to keep going over and over again to feel that way.
It was a harmless addiction — though maybe not always as harmless to the bank balance!
Over the years, I made the best of friends, people I am still friends with including my bestie Elaine. Apart from my other lovely friend Mandy, we were the only ones so young at the time. I think my parents approved since we did sneak a party once when they were away when I was seventeen/eighteen. You can’t really go wrong when it’s a Barry party… mostly older ladies who got the hoover out and cleaned up after! I was no typical teenager. And thank God!
We followed the tours, sat in TV audiences, went to conventions here and in the US, travelled to LA to see him. It has been a blast!
Life has come, as it always does, with its ups and downs. Barry’s positive don’t-give-up-your-dreams message got me into vet school in the early 90s. It also got me through serious illness. It got me focussed again. When I’d made it thru’ the rain I worked as a scientist. It helped me when I lost the love of my life, Lee, in 2005. In fact, it was finally agreeing with Elaine we ought to ‘do the Platinum’ in Vegas (a charity thing where you get to have a one-to-one with Barry and then front-row seats) that I finally had something to look forward to. We met him in 2007 🙂
I got this extra photo and hug because I told him about Lee and how Barry was the first thing I had been able to look forward to in the two years since I lost him to cancer.
Over the years his music and the friendships have been there to guide the way and given me the courage to give up my day job to follow my dreams as a writer. Next novel out in October!
I wasn’t able to go every night in recent tours because of pennies, and a lovely husband and other commitments, but for this final tour, just over two weeks at The London Palladium… where else would I be?
I did originally book four shows — I will have seen seven (so half of them) by the end of tonight. I would have gone to more if I could have!
It’s been incredible and getting up every two or three days on what I deemed ‘a Barry day’ certainly put an extra spring in my step at the gym. Part of me thinks that would be the way to live out the rest of my life, the other part thinks as happy as I would be… I’d be broke and distracted too!
But like all good things it must come to an end… but when you have made so many wonderful memories it never really ends… does it? This is Barry’s last UK tour but at 81 (on June 17th) he looks and performs incredibly! So going out on a real high!
It’s hard to process the sense of mixed emotions that I think all of us involved will feel today. A bit like after your wedding day or the best holiday ever… only amplified ten-fold. It’s been forty-six years! I am sure the man himself will feel it too. We have been sharing our Barry memories on the FB page and through our own friendship groups and those will always be there.
If you have never been part of something like this, you will never know that feeling. But if you have, I know you will feel the same today.
I want to enjoy every minute and I will make sure I do… but when that red curtain falls after the final encore farewell, the tears will flow. They will flow before we get to that point I know for sure. At least we all have one another and a lifetime of wonderful memories.
While I know Barry and his team of wonderful musicians will be very unlikely to ever read this post, if Barry did, then I’d want to say thank you for being part of what guided my life and shaped so many of my memories. For showing me the power of music and friendship. One voice and look what it created.
A writer lost for words? Yes… because… sometimes thank you will never be enough.
But THANK YOU. For everything. Thank you Barry, with all my love.
Wednesday (June 5) London Palladium
Writerly Debz 