It’s a funny time moving; especially when you love your life the way it is. I say how I’m moving back, and yes am I moving back to where I grew up, same house — but really I am moving forward.
Sure I love my life, but the part I love will not change — just the location. When you do what you love, you can be happy no matter where you sit, right?
There were times when I felt lonely and when it got cold in my house in the winter and gas bottles are expensive here. There were times when I’d miss my mum and dad and wish I lived close enough to pop in for lunch. And there were times when I missed events happening in London that would be fun and writerly but pennies wouldn’t allow. So I focus on that and realise none of those things will be issue when I move.
It goes without saying I will miss the house and the friends and the countryside, but I alway stay in touch with friends (you got me forever I’m afraid!) and I don’t see that much of the countryside when most of my life is in front of a computer! So I am now feeling the excitement… looking forward.
Look back only to smile.
I finished packing yesterday, took me most of the day and I ache in all sorts of unknown places (really!) but it means I am more or less ready. And the small things create the excitement as I just emailed about a computer desk and chair on Gumtree on Canvey, and am getting excited about creating my new office for the end of the month when my new life officially begins. I am planning to order a sign that says “Writer in Residence: Do Not Disturb” — egotistical? Probably. But fun, right?
I feel as if I have completed the first phase of my writing career; a journey that started before Lee died and saved me in my darkest moments. I still picture that piece of paper tucked into an envelope in one of my first writing group meetings: write your wish and we’ll open the envelopes in a year’s time. Mine said: a publisher for my first novel and an agent. It took seven years to come true, but it did — because I would and will never give up on anything. I did it. So when I start my new writing group the plan is to ask members to do the same and I’ll keep those envelopes to be revisited at some point. Now the dream is the BIG publisher for the next and subsequent novels and a movie deal (or two!). They say DREAM BIG. And why not. Maybe it is egotistical but no one’s gonna dream it for me, are they.
I will blog tomorrow and Wednesday and then I will go off blog until next Monday. Just keeping you in the loop — if anyone’s listening that is! Hello… is there anybody there?
I danced a lot in this house when the good times finally came and I will dance a lot in my new life, no matter what it brings. Just dance.
Be happy in whatever you do.